


Where Did It All Go Wrong?

by kickassfu



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, about how they feel about each other, both pov's, post episode 6, they kiss, very introspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:54:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23421262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kickassfu/pseuds/kickassfu
Summary: But the world is cruel, and the world has shaped Geralt into hiding his feelings, except for his outbursts of misdirected anger. So off Jaskier goes, losing the one most important thing to him.Jaskier turns his back to Geralt, to love, to their friendship, leaving it all behind on the floor with his broken heart.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 2
Kudos: 154





	Where Did It All Go Wrong?

**Author's Note:**

> Got this song as prompt: Where Did It All Go Wrong by Hudson Taylor
> 
> And I tried!! Y'all keep asking for angst, when I'm usually more fluff lol so I hope I did it justice. Also I was listening to the song on a loop as I wrote it, so to improve the reading experience totally listen to it if you feel like it!

Jaskier knows the precise moment he started liking Geralt. He knows it, because it was their first meeting. A brooding stranger, drinking alone, honest to a fault, also _swords_ ; what’s there not to like? But if you were to ask him, when he fell in love, when he realized it, then- he truly has no idea.

Yes, he has always been attracted to the man, _how could you not_ , and yes, he falls a little bit in love with everyone he meets (if they are at least a halfway decent person, he does have standards), but the burning, quiet, love he feels for Geralt is different. It’s passionate and tender, it’s about companionship and friendship, it’s just... _deeper_. And he has no idea when it happened.

They’ve been together for so long, that the gradual growth felt natural. There wasn’t a day he realized it, there wasn’t a day he fell in love. It was days and months and years spent with Geralt; loving him more and more each moment.

No matter what happens between them, everything always comes back to Geralt. Even if Jaskier goes off to fall in love with someone else, it’s not the same, it isn’t always and forever like it is with Geralt. No, it’s just momentary bliss.

He’s ok with not having Geralt completely, because having his friendship is so, _so_ , important and precious.

As long as he has that, he’s satisfied.

But the world is cruel, and the world has shaped Geralt into hiding his feelings, except for his outbursts of misdirected anger. So off Jaskier goes, losing the one most important thing to him.

Jaskier turns his back to Geralt, to love, to their friendship, leaving it all behind on the floor with his broken heart.

_Goodbye my love, farewell my dear, I’ll never see you again._

* * *

Geralt is not a dumb person. He’s actually very self-aware, for the most part. But the realization that what he feels for Jaskier is not just mere friendship with a side of I really want to fuck him and cuddle with him afterwards, comes a little too late. In fact as much as he hates platitudes like _you never know what you have until it’s gone_ , the truth is, he agrees with the sentiment.

He can blame everything on his fuzzy relationship with Yennefer. It’s confusing and messy, and he does love her (in a different way that he loves Jaskier). He feels connected to her, and she’s attractive, why would he ever put any thought on how he feels for Jaskier? Geralt can blame it on Jaskier too, for being who he is. But he knows the blame lies with him, and only him.

Even if the realization comes late, it comes strong. All the nights spent away from Jaskier, hoping to meet up soon, to hear his voice. The way Jaskier looked at him, and touched him and-

_Loved him._

Geralt isn’t sure what kind of love, but Jaskier loves him; he isn’t _that_ blind to feelings.

His thoughts always come back to _Jaskier_ , Jaskier, Jaskier, Jaskier. It’s frustrating.

How he didn’t see it sooner, he can’t say. Maybe he did. Maybe deep down he knew, but kept it buried and locked up for fear of... _something_. Fear of loving, fear of losing Jaskier, fear of losing himself…

They’ll meet again, he knows it. He has to believe it.

If not-

* * *

Jaskier notices Geralt first, and yes, his heart still beats for him. It’s ridiculous and pathetic, the way just the sight of him can bring it back to life like that. And bloody hell, he’s just as beautiful as he has always been, like the shining moon in the darkest of nights, lighting Jaskier’s path.

Sighing, Jaskier ignores Geralt’s light, and turns his back to him once again.

It still hurts, and he can’t.

“ _Jaskier_.” he hears and his feet stop. His mind yells at them to move, to go. But his heart yearns for something more, and so he stays. He doesn’t turn around to face him, he refuses. Jaskier knows if he does it, he’ll forgive everything without giving it another thought.

“Jaskier.” Geralt repeats, his voice begging him to turn around.

What Jaskier failed to realize, is that just listening to Geralt is enough for him to give him anything and everything. It’s a stupid miscalculation. He should’ve kept walking.

Crossing his arms, he turns around, his face closed off. Still not saying one word.

Geralt looks at him, taking in every little thing that might be different, losing himself in those beautiful blue eyes, that are so full of pain and sadness. He had plenty of time to figure out what to say when they finally met, he made a plan, a speech. Knows he has to start with an apology, to beg his forgiveness, explain that Jaskier is so important to him, that he was an idiot to hurt him like that, and-

“I love you.” he blurts out instead. Forgetting his whole speech, starting from the last thing he was supposed to say, the most significant thing.

And it definitely takes Jaskier by surprise. At most he expects an apology, something short and to the point, and even that he wasn’t sure he’d actually get. So this? This actually breaks his brain.

“Uh-hm-well-uh…what?”

A flustered Jaskier is always cute, but Geralt screwed this up, so he tries to explain, “That’s-” but obviously Jaskier isn’t done processing things so he interrupts.

“What the fuck do you mean, you love me?” he’s screaming now, confused, his hands flailing all over the place.

Geralt opens his mouth to answer, but doesn’t get a chance to actually talk, when Jaskier keeps talking, “You have a very funny way of showing that. You love me. That’s ridiculous, you’re ridiculous.”

Geralt waits, to see if Jaskier’s done, he isn’t, “How dare you? How dare you after all of _that_ , after ripping my heart into tiny little pieces because someone else rightfully told you to fuck off, to just- to just come out and say you love me? You my dear Witcher have many serious problems. I would know. I have plenty of them myself. I mean why else would I be here screaming at you like a mad man instead of walking away? Why after everything, do I find my way back to you? I’m just as ridiculous as you are, my Gods.”

“Because you love me too.” Geralt says it with more certainty than he actually feels, hoping he’s right.

“No shit, of course I bloody love you. That doesn’t mean you just get to waltz back into my life like nothing happened.”

Closing their distance, Geralt walks up to Jaskier, “You’re right. I’m sorry. I took my frustrations out on you, and it wasn’t fair.”

Geralt reaches his hand up to Jaskier’s face, and cups it gently, “I can see things clearly now, and I want to be honest with you, always. It’s why I couldn’t help myself, why I had to say it. Every step I made, brought me closer to you. I love you, Jaskier.”

“You’re not being fair.” Jaskier whispers, even as he nuzzles into Geralt’s hand, even as his own hands grab onto Geralt’s wrist to keep it there. Jaskier forgave him the moment he saw him, and again the moment he heard his voice, and then again when he said _I love you_.

“Can I kiss you?” once more, Geralt surprises the both of them. The conversation isn’t done, it’s the wrong moment-

Jaskier is nodding, and Geralt’s lips are on his in an instant.

After all, they have all the time in the world for words later.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm also kickassfu on tumblr~~


End file.
